KISS

During World War II, President Franklin D. Roosevelt once came across a poster from his Civil Defense authorities that read,
“Illumination must be extinguished when premises are vacated.”
F.D.R. was incensed. “Why can’t they just say ‘put out the lights when you leave?’”
At diverse times, one endeavors to overawe personages by employing one’s sophisticated nomenclature, but there [...]

Urgency Addiction

Remember the days before text messaging, cell phones, Palm Pilots and “Crack-berry’s?”  Me neither, but it did exist didn’t it?  I mean, we used to communicate face-to-face in entire sentences without someone reaching for their holster.  Ah…those were the days.  People actually listened to each other – really listened and focused their entire attention on [...]

Why I Love My Mae Baan

You may remember my post about my confusion over a note our mae baan (Thai for house help) left us one day.  Here’s the note she left us this week:

It almost breaks your heart.  We must be the most heartless people she’s ever worked for in order for her to feel that she had to [...]

Matching Emotion with Concern

While sitting in one of the most boring seminars of my life, I was surprised to learn something that has added years (maybe decades) to my marriage.  It’s the principle of matching emotion with concern.
You see, for much of my early marriage, I had it all wrong.  When my wife and I would get into [...]

The Elephant in the Room

Ever had the experience of having an “elephant in the room?”  It’s what happens when there is something big and disturbing that we all know about but won’t discuss.  We stress over it; we pretend it’s not there; we go to great lengths to maneuver around it… all because we don’t [...]

I Want *BIG* Thank You!

Our mae baan (“housekeeper” in Thai) left us this note the other day:

I’ll have to admit; I was a little put off by it.  It seemed to my western mind a little presumptuous for the mae baan to solicit praise.  I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve it.  She’s wonderful at what she does, and she’s [...]

S.I.F.T.

As if S.W.I.F.T. weren’t swift enough (read article for background), sometimes we just S.I.F.T. We still experience the Stimulus, Interpret it, have Feelings as a result and Take Action, but we totally skip the Wonder step.
Going directly from the Stimulus to the Interpretation is very common, and it’s a necessary innovation to help us make [...]

S.W.I.F.T.

You’ve stayed somewhere longer than you expected, and your car is now the only one in a darkened parking lot. You feel uneasy as you make your way across the asphalt, and then you hear a noise. Looking to your left, you see a shadowy figure walking in your direction. You quicken your pace; he [...]

Replace the Grace

The working world is changing.  So many of us work in a different location than our bosses or our teams or the people we have to interact with to get things done.  These remote relationships are more difficult to keep healthy and positive, because communication is less frequent and often less personal.  Add multiple time [...]

Volume

I swear sometimes. The major offenders (though usually not the hyphenated kind). I hate that I do it, because I always feel childish afterward. But I know why. Volume. Almost 100% of the time.
Let me explain. When I’m angry or frustrated or overwhelmed, I want people to know about it. I want their sympathy or [...]